Competition

It has always baffled me the way humans are so hung up in competition.  Maybe its just genetic, but this is what I observe.  I see that people are obsessively caught up in results and image.  Everyone wants to be the best.  I have to say, I love competition in its pure form--I love pushing myself to do something that maybe I wouldn't have done otherwise.  But insert other people into the equation and it becomes ugly.  All of a sudden, people are comparing themselves, maybe saying negative things about their competition--they end up being against each other rather than supportive of one another.  And in the world of an extreme sport such as whitewater kayaking, its not good--we need each other for survival.  

I went to a comp last weekend and there were so many bad vibes--I got caught up in it--thus the drama in the previous post.  I got angry and frustrated, and I was surprised by how people acted when I thought it was going to be a fun and lighthearted event for girls to get together and support each other.  But in the end, it helped me because I decided to take a good hard look inside.  

Like I said, I love competition because I love to push myself, but I don't like the game playing.  I also don't like to be confined by rules--in order to compete, you have to be somewhere at a certain time and then you have to play by the rules--all things that I am not good at and really don't like--its not for me, so why have I been expecting it of myself?  The expectations on myself and subsequent guilt when I would always inevitably not show up for the event that I signed up for seemed to be the real issue here.  I realized that I have been made to believe by media and the thoughts of the herd that somehow I needed to be in competitions when its really not my thing.  So, I have decided to channel my energy in life to the things that I do well and the things that bring me joy because in the end, that is what matters.  I no longer need to feel guilty for being original.  So, my energies are redirected at creating yoga routines for athletes, going kayaking for pure joy, taking pictures and video and sharing my travel, joy, and viewpoints with the world through our blogs, books, and videos.  I will stay fit in mind in body  so that I can participate fully in the sports that I love doing--and I can do it my own way--with my own original twist (the judges on American Idol love and encourage that!) and it will be more effective that way because its real.